BIRTH CONTROL

birth_control_235.jpg
birth_control_235.jpg

BIRTH CONTROL

$5.00

#00235/Greeting Card (4.5" x 6.25") - Blank

I'm not actually anti-baby. I just don't have that thing that enables me to overlook the downside of their altogether normal behavior.  They can't talk, so like a barking dog, they can't tell you why the hell they're raising a ruckus.  They can't use toilets, so like an unhouse-trained dog, you have to clean up stuff that comes out of their butts.  They can't feed themselves, so like a barking, unhouse-trained dog, you have to feed them when all they give you in return is a lot of noise and poop.  But unlike a baby, you can slap a bark collar on a barking, unhouse-trained dog and, though it can take a while, house-train him.  In a few months, you've got yourself a nice dog.  Meanwhile, back in Babyland, there is absolutely NOTHING you can do about Poopy McCry n' Eat.  Nope.  You just have to wait...month after poopy month.  I know I sound like an idiot, but I honestly don't get why the whole baby thing isn't more of a deterrent to people.  It sure deterred the hell out of me.

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