#00396/Greeting Card (4.5" x 6.25") - Blank

Personally, I hate traveling.  I don't like going to "exotic" places because "exotic" often means (a) poor, in which case I don't like being the stupid rich American; or, (b) relatively unspoiled, in which case why the fuck do I want to go spoil it?  I don't like going to big foreign cities because I don't speak any languages other than a smattering of English.  I don't like going to new places in the United States because they always confirm my worst fears about this country.  I guess that leaves Great Britain and Canada.  But I don't want to go to the UK because I passionately hate flying.  So that leaves Canada.  By train.  Or boat.  But who the hell travels by trains or boats?  I'll tell you who:  people who don't mind being in close quarters with the same goddamn bunch of chuckleheads for long periods of time.  That rules me out.  Guess I'll just stay here.